Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
