the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.