Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I'm not sure what to say to that.

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(614): I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC. (1-614): I'm not sure what to say to that. http://tfl.nu/ot0k

Replies (29) Good night (666) Bad night (2608)
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(905): View more from Toronto

In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience

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(905): In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience http://tfl.nu/48b7

Replies (125) Good night (5718) Bad night (1269)
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(323): View more from California

Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?

(1-323): View more from California

We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?

(323): View more from California

Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.

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(323): Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender? (1-323): We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out? (323): Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture. http://tfl.nu/sr23

Replies (43) Good night (1395) Bad night (28267)
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(845): View more from New York

he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.

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(845): he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/a138

Replies (60) Good night (2226) Bad night (7589)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.

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(614): Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar. http://tfl.nu/j0wd

Replies (19) Good night (5826) Bad night (1260)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?

(917): View more from New York City

what kind of party is this?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the best kind ever

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(610): can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home? (917): what kind of party is this? (610): the best kind ever http://tfl.nu/ib1r

Replies (22) Good night (7959) Bad night (1117)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.

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(218): Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it. http://tfl.nu/dm7u

Replies (44) Good night (8063) Bad night (2537)
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(850): View more from Florida

We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.

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(850): We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself. http://tfl.nu/yba7

Replies (3) Good night (2541) Bad night (726)
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(360): View more from Washington

Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.

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(360): Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/0hus

Replies (10) Good night (1717) Bad night (660)
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(765): View more from Indiana

On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.

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(765): On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life. http://tfl.nu/r8q3

Replies (7) Good night (1996) Bad night (639)
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(317): View more from Indiana

He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him

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(317): He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him http://tfl.nu/vd38

Replies (11) Good night (1884) Bad night (627)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.

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(808): My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE. http://tfl.nu/6uku

Replies (4) Good night (1292) Bad night (544)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.

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(502): I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true. http://tfl.nu/qsda

Replies (8) Good night (2435) Bad night (437)
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(905): View more from Ontario

The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...

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(905): The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that... http://tfl.nu/6jhl

Replies (3) Good night (782) Bad night (269)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.

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(785): I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here. http://tfl.nu/kjaj

Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (438)

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