Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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