he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
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Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
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He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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