I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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