ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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