Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
