I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
