Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
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