Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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