i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
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Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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