I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
