I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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