I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
