I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just pee around me
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize