Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
