I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
