What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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