Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
