Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
