Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
