You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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