Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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