I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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