4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
