Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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