Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
