yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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