You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize