how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
