If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well