i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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