how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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