I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize