This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
