I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?