Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
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the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B