Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You pole danced in your parka.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.