that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Some milfs here doing some blow
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW