I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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