Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
