i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
