I'm jealous of your bromance
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
