I hate your face
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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