My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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