I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
