Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
