whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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