i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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