you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
