yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
