I'm lost and stupid without you.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
