that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
