dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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