I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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