So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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