4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
