he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
