Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
