the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
